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Monday, March 16

it's amazing...

i know i haven't blogged for awhile...things have been crazy!! with work and relationships...who has time for anything anymore!!! today i am full of joy and relief. full of gratitude and thankfulness for the trials and tribulations in my life and the people who truly have saved me from myself. The past couple of months i've had to deal with many hardships, many things i didn't think i had the ability to overcome. There are a small handfull of people who i owe my everything to. Who i have to thank for my very being. And i know these people know who you are. A little bit ago i hit my lowest low. I didn't know myself anymore. I lost who i was. I was so caught up in being in love with someone who only shared the same feelings some of the time and being so hurt and crused by every little thing it was hurting me and dragging down. This person, this person who i thought was my everything pushed me away, pushed me away so far...i cracked. But it's for this person that i thank from the bottom of my heart for doing so because it opened a whole new world for me. Out of this hole...there were 3 amazing people i met that made me feel like no other. That let me see that i could be happy, that there were other people out there so willing to love and care for me freely...rather than when it was convienent for them. They showed me that i was okay by myself, that i didn't need to be attached to someone so much to be happy, that i was an amazing person by myself. They taught me to let go, and that it was okay to let go. I am relieved and a huge burden has been lifted off of me. I am okay. i will be okay. Its unfortunate that i had to go through hell and back to finally get to this point in my life...but i wouldn't trade it for anything. I learned an amazing lesson and i've finally found myself again. I've found my confidence and love for life. These people may never know how much they mean to me and how very thankful i am that they had the patience and love to give to me to show me life again. I love you guys from the depths of my heart. Thank you for loving me, for showing me who i am. For bringing me back to life<3

8 comments:

ClancyPants said...

WOW. Just wow. I'm so very happy for you, Carmy! It's what you deserve... happiness! You are so special to me and our family and we simply want your happiness! I will say a big 'thank you' to the unnamed individuals who helped you see your grandness, your sweetness, your autonomy. You are something special, my friend, and I'm so happy to read this happy post! :) Love you and your sweet face.

ClancyPants said...

How many times can Clancy use the word 'happy' in one comment? Look above and see for yourself! It's called a Thesaurus, Clancy. Use it.

Lynette said...

Oh sweetie! You poor thing! I had no idea you were going through such a hard time. I am so sorry you had to go through that heartache. I'm sure it was extremely discouraging. Good for your friends! I am so happy that they helped you when you needed it the most. Hang on to those friends for sure!!

Lynette said...

P.S. I totally understand being busy. I seriously wonder how anyone has time to blog as much as they do.

Anonymous said...

PRAISE THE LORD My darling Carmy. You have no FREAKING clue how long I have been waiting to hear those exact words from you. I love you. I'm going to call you ASAP.

Justin and Kristin said...

Yay! I am truly glad for you!

Ashley said...

I love you Carms. I am so sorry that you have had to go through such a hard time!! You are an amazing person and I love the smiles that you bring to me!!! You are the sweetest person out there and I truly mean that!!!
I love you tons!
Love Ash

Kitty Crazy! said...

i look up to you so much and so hope you are always happy. you are the sweetest person and deserve great love and joy in your life. LOVE YOU! -sarah palmer cook