Sunday, September 28


so i woke up yesterday morning with a really scratchy throat and what not...i had a double to work yesterday and it was a nightmare, After spilling a diet coke all over a baby and droping plates and messing up orders...i could BARELY talk to my customers. I got a lot of "what?" "huh?" "are you sick" "why are you talking funny". it was irritating. It's more irritating because it doesn't throat does NOT hurt but it sounds like i just got my tonsils removed or something. so i had taylor be my voice today and call into work for me and try to get my shift covered. I now appriciate the ability to talk and communicate SO much better now. I'm miserable...:'(

Wednesday, September 24

What is love? baby don't hurt me...dont hurt more!!

ugh. I have a dilema. i don't even know where to start. love is such a simple, yet such a complex thing. And i just don't know what to do anymore. I've had many many people ask...what are you going to do carmen? ( most of you know the story of my oh so fabulous love life. and if you do not..let me know and i will tell you;)) And the only answer i really have is...i've done everything i possibly can, far and beyond anything anyone should ever do for somebody to get their attention and i do not believe there is anything more i could do to make somebody realize that i'm what they need and want and BASICALLY already have. So i'm leaving it up to god. i've really REALLY done all i can. and somedays i really wonder if that truly was enough. but then i sit back, and look at everything i've done, everthing i've been through and i have to say...yes...that was enough. Almost too much really. i easily get frustrated though. when does it stop...or start? when do i get my happily ever after...or even a start to my happily ever after? I will be 24 next year and i hate that the society in this town make single people over the age of 21 feel old for not being married yet. i feel awful because i have such strong feelings for one person and because of that i don't see the need for dating because i'm like...what's the point? if that person i went on a date with started to have stronger feelings than me, i couldn't recpirocate the feelings back...i just feel like i'm constantly flying through a black i either want to be thrown out of...or finally come to just some sort of...i don't even know...stop to all this madness?
I live such a crazy life. I'm some sort of a massochist at times...i know i bring a lot of pain on to myself. what does one do?

Monday, September 15

Everything's Bigger in Texas!!

So i'm sorry to all that have tagged me on blogs and whatever else but HOlY BUSY i've been!! After 3 weeks of trying to convince every memeber of the management team that i need to work at texas roadhouse, i FINALLY got the job on Monday...well a week ago and i've loved it ever since. It's SoOO much fun and all the people are amazing. It kinda sucks cause i think there's like...3 of us that don't smoke or drink like it's going out of style, but there are some kick butt people i work with and they all are so eager to help me, to talk to's just way way fun:D so i aven't really been on top of my blog because one...i haven't waitressed in like...8n months and it's SUCH a fast paced environment that i actually got done thursday night and went home in tears because i hurt so bad. waitresing is a hard industry! but i love it:D So just thought i would let you all know:D come visit me anytime!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 3

i don't hate a lot of things, but i know i do hate...

the stupid world of warcraft game. don't get me wrong. I've played it and i enjoy playing it from time to time, but it takes away peoples minds. it's horrible. these people that can just sit there for 8 hours straight and just play play play. i really don't get it. I mean i get it if you are sick or there realy is nothing to do...sure hop on and play for a bit. but to totally block out your friends an family and people that really need you and want you, it's rediculous.
the first chance i get i'm bombing blizzard entertainment for taking people away from things that matter most...

that's my vent for today ^_^