can i just explain how happy i am that twilight is coming out 3 WEEKS EARLIER THAN PLANNED!!!!!!!!!!! holy heck...
love it!

okay i'm better:)

so i've been feeling better about things. I think i just needed to vent because i keep a lot of things in. i know that's a big no no...but sometimes i can't help it! I feel more better about the "boys" issue. The past couple days i've really been trying to talk to adam and taylor...and we are just 3 people that have been deeply hurt trying to find our way back to happiness. And we have each other:) and it's amazing how everyone has thier own demons. Last night i went out with taylor adam and adrien ( he is the other roommate) and just listening to all of them talk and share thier heartaches was very heartrenching, but it amazed me at the same time how similar we all were. i think we were all brought together by some reason and i'm very glad it happened;) And they all were so sweet! they praised me for being part of thier home. they all said that it wasn't complete and something was missing when i wasn't at home with them!! i was so flattered. lol...they call me the "third" roommate...or adrien refers to me as Elaine ---from seinfeld and taylor is jerry....adrien is kramer, and we haven't quite decided what adam is...he's kinda like the second jerry. tee hee. But poor adam, i worry about him often. I see myself in him on how he deals with heartache. and it makes me really sad because i had to go through so much for so long to finally be...sane. And i don't want anyone else to have to go through that. After applebee's we went back home and tay and adrien went upstairs and adam sat downstairs to watch tv and i peaked around the corner and he was starting to talk to him mom and he yelled for me to come back and he asked for a hug and just started to cry. it broke my heart!! :'( i felt so hopeless!! So i held him for a bit and he felt better afterwards...but really... i know i couldn't say or do anything to make his pain go away. Nobody i ever talked to could...but i knew just being there for him, just being a shoulder to cry on and someone who understood was all i could do for him right now. we are a good support system for each other:) but i am very thankful to be part of this household of boys. i've learned so much and i love that they are kinda dependent on me!! there is nothing more i love than knowing i'm needed. I guess i'm kinda wierd that way lol. And as far as job situations are going, it just seems that that burden has been taken away. everything is beginging to go right for a change! i'm kinda excited! Its so easy to forget the things you should be thankful for when you are sad and hating the world. i'm working on it! ^_^

Ugh...Irritation...

akhfdasljghskhgalks!!!! That's my morning word for the day. i've been so irritated with life lately...i need a good pick up. OR SOMETHING!! i have my second interview at texas roadhouse today so i pray pray pray that i'm getting it! so that hopefully will take care of my money issue. Other than that...
I hang out with a lot of guys..mostly because all my girlfriends are all married and too good for me:P okay so not all...but most have husbands or families to take care of and cant live the "oh so glamorous" single life with me...RIGHT!!!!!!!!! But my boys really are all i have left...and lately...it's been rater irritating. I guess in short...Taylor and i have a "special" relationship...long story. But he recently just had a breakup. So whenever he talks about girls and what not he always talks about how anti-girl he is and how evil they are and how awful all his exes were ( and yes i am an ex...but i was NOT an awful one. i'm the only girlfriend he's ever had to dump:( )and this and that and how no girls like him, don't think he's hot...blah blah blah. now i have unconditionally loved this kid forever it seems like...and just when he talks like this..when i'm RIGHT there... i'm like..um..hello? I'm right here? I know when he talks about bad relationships i know better that i don't fall into that category...because i was perfect in every way;)...but seriously? I just feel kind of hurt...maybe i think to highly of myself..i don't really know...but it just seems like whatever i say it doesn't matter...that all my feelings and actions go out the door because i'm nobody special. like what does it matter coming from me if i say "hey you look really good today?" When he will only give a good response if some hot bimbo whatever would have said that to him it would have made his day. so i'm guessing i feel more of less insignificant. I know i dont exactly fall into the normal category of an ex because we stayed such good friends...but still...some things just bug. And where adam is going through relationship trash too...they get to do guy bonding time with how much they hate the women race...granted they know without a doubt that they both can talk to me about ANYTHING... i've gone through relationship hell too!! but i don't get the luxury of getting to talk about how much i've been hurt...or how much i still do hurt...and i think i really miss that. It's like they both can sit there and talk about women...but heaven forbid if i talk about a guy.

it just comes to the great conclusion
Life just is not fair...:'(
*thanks for listening:)

so it's a little late, but i had a fun day. I was SUPPOSED to have a job interview at Texas today, but that totally fell through until tomorrow...so we will see how that goes. But apparently Brad from Z103 is really good friends with the manager, Milt that works there, so hopefully he will put in a good recommendation for me. I hope so...o need a job like...stat. But my first day at Victoria Secret is Thursday, SO! i'm pretty excited about that. Other than that... i spent most of my day just hanging out. Tay is really sick so i helped him do some things and Me, him and Adam had a super yummy dinner. tay's chicken is the best. YAY...so other than that...pretty uneventful day...gotta love that. Yay...yay...yay
My mom finally comes home Sunday...but she will only be home 2 weeks before she has to leave again. Blah. I'm glad she loves her job though. Makes me happy. :)

I hate getting sick!! or whatever it is i was!!

So, gross...
i woke up yesterday morning just feeling like a big pile...head hurt, tummy ache, nausea...blah. so i started to get ready for mack's baptism and i just couldn't handle it! Of running to the bathroom i went. It was bad! i couldn't even keep water down. so very sadfully i called clancy and told her the bad news. i felt horrible for missing one of my favorite people's big day! So i got back into my pj's...got a big thing of water, even though i couldn't keep it down, and went back to bed. 7 hours later...which by then was 8 o clock..i finally woke up and was able to move around without wanting to throw up! So i got in the shower, got ready, went and ate with adam and tay, where adam flirted with one of the waitresses he thought was "sooooo hot" and she was actually really cute. Adam needs a good girl. Heck! i need a good guy!! hehehe So then i went home and you know what? i was able to sleep until about noon today...soooooooooo i sure hope that whatever got me down has got out of my system, because that wasn't fun! :'(

hmm well... i haven't quite figured out how to put movies on here... but as soon as i figure it out then you will get to see it!!!

So i just got done watching one of my most favorite musicals, Hairspray. these kids have the greatest voices and great talent too!! i always tell people before i die i have to be walking down the street and everyone needs to break out into dance and song. so basically i can't die until that happens;) but i thought you all might enjoy a clip of my most favorite part of the movie...Elija Kelly can SING...and he's pretty handsome too!! ^_^

I hope i'm a good mom ^_^

So where i left last night, after having the most amazing dinner cooked by mom and dad wight:) I took a picture of my "nieces and nephews". I put it in parenthesis because they aren't really..."mine" persay. But i think of Clancy, Sarah, and Lacy just like sister's and i love each of thier kids like they really were my nieces and nephews:) So when they come over to grandma and grandpa's house, the trampoline is a big hit. So i took my chance and got as many of them together as i could and said " i need a picture!!!!" And this is my cute outcome...
Lily, Brooklyn, Lance, Mack, Vincent, and William. ( Ella and Rohan are not pictured, i dont know where they went! >.< and little Bryce was probably with his mom Brecca...actually i know that's where he was)

i absolutely love kids...i always have. I've always just had this unspeakable bond with any little one i come in contact with. I had never really ever thought about being a mom until one day i was at my dear friends Joy and Paul Johnsons (bless them both since then they have seperated from each other) and they have 5 kids. Maggie and Miles were more teenagers...but Emmy, Sam ,and Boo (a.k.a Evan) were much littler. One day when i was playing with them Paul takes me aside and says that he and Joy are leaving on a trip and they had been searching for weeks for someone to watch the little ones for them. It had seemed that all thier reliable sources had something other to do and they would have either canceled thier trip or had to take them to Montana and then backtrack to Utah, or Arizona...i can't remember which. He carried on with how i was such a blessing to thier family and the way i handled thier kids was phenomenal and that i was going to be a great mom and that he would even get down on his knees to beg me to watch his kids. Well of course he didn't need to beg. I'd love nothing more than to hang out with my little group of friends. But before that...never thinking about how good of a mom i would be, i was really touched that he could see my potential of motherhood.To be completely honest...i can't wait to have kids...well actually...yes i can because i would like a husband to help me:) But when the time comes i don't think i could be more ready to have little ones of my own. And i really do hope that i'll live up to the expectations of being a great mom!

So...uh....hi!

So this is my first time ever making a blog. I was looking at Clancy's blog and i was like HEY! that looks fun...and cute...and...everything i ever could dream of! So i guess a little more about me...I'm 23 years old...and have no idea what to do with my life. HA!! so that was depressing...but...TRUE!!! :'( i actually work at Sally Beauty Supply. Most days its alright...but it's actually inspired me to want to go to beauty school, whever i can afford to go! Ugh i hate money. I spend my days working and obsessing over the twilight series. GO TEAM EDWARD!!! ^_^ tee hee. I must say the last book was...unexpected...yeah let's put it that way...unexpected. But i told everyone if Bella and Edward didn't get married and Bella didn't become a vampire, i was burning my books. SO, it's good to say, i didn't have to have a bonfire anti-twilight burning party after all. I love to go out to movies, have fun with friends, play rockband, and be with people. I have the most amazing friends and i will introduce two of them very near and dear to my heart!!!






So this is my dear Taylor. Studly .....ain't he;) He and his family have been so near and dear to my heart the past couple of years. I think of them as my own family. They are so special to me and i couldn't ask for greater people to be in my life. Taylor and i have a great special relationship that is very special to me. We have been through a lot, but our relationship couldn't be stronger. We know we can get through anything and everything, even though things may be really hard and tough at times, i know i've wanted to give up so many times. But because of him... i know i can make it:D He is the silliest person i've ever met and he knows how to make me laugh...and make me laugh HARD. we have silly noises and jokes that anyone else falling in to our conversation....probably would be scared!!! :o









And this is my Handsome Rob:) ever see the Italian job? heehehehe. Rob is definitely one of the most loyal friends i've ever had. I don't ever think that anything in this world is capable of breaking our bond apart. So yeah...don't even try!! (ha ha just messin:) ) Sadly Rob moved on to bigger and better things in Texas. So i guess the phrase "everything is bigger in Texas" applies. He moved down ther to work for..a place...uh..........can't really remember what it's called but his sister lives in Austin too, so i know he isn't alone. I do wish i could find a good girl for him though....:S


So even though Tay and Rob were best friends first, i couldn't resist their goofiness and how freaking lovable they both were, so we soon became the three musketeers!! And yes....we are pretty silly... Making nasty faces is kind of our specialty....


So there is that for now. I'm actually over at the Wight's...probably should be helping them make dinner. Rohan just came up to me and said..." carmy!! i know what is inside a cocoon!!" and i said well what!?!?!? and he said "moths....then butterflieyes!!!" He is so cute!! well of to make yummy dinner!! LOVE TO ALLL!!!!!!!!!!!