okay i'm better:)

so i've been feeling better about things. I think i just needed to vent because i keep a lot of things in. i know that's a big no no...but sometimes i can't help it! I feel more better about the "boys" issue. The past couple days i've really been trying to talk to adam and taylor...and we are just 3 people that have been deeply hurt trying to find our way back to happiness. And we have each other:) and it's amazing how everyone has thier own demons. Last night i went out with taylor adam and adrien ( he is the other roommate) and just listening to all of them talk and share thier heartaches was very heartrenching, but it amazed me at the same time how similar we all were. i think we were all brought together by some reason and i'm very glad it happened;) And they all were so sweet! they praised me for being part of thier home. they all said that it wasn't complete and something was missing when i wasn't at home with them!! i was so flattered. lol...they call me the "third" roommate...or adrien refers to me as Elaine ---from seinfeld and taylor is jerry....adrien is kramer, and we haven't quite decided what adam is...he's kinda like the second jerry. tee hee. But poor adam, i worry about him often. I see myself in him on how he deals with heartache. and it makes me really sad because i had to go through so much for so long to finally be...sane. And i don't want anyone else to have to go through that. After applebee's we went back home and tay and adrien went upstairs and adam sat downstairs to watch tv and i peaked around the corner and he was starting to talk to him mom and he yelled for me to come back and he asked for a hug and just started to cry. it broke my heart!! :'( i felt so hopeless!! So i held him for a bit and he felt better afterwards...but really... i know i couldn't say or do anything to make his pain go away. Nobody i ever talked to could...but i knew just being there for him, just being a shoulder to cry on and someone who understood was all i could do for him right now. we are a good support system for each other:) but i am very thankful to be part of this household of boys. i've learned so much and i love that they are kinda dependent on me!! there is nothing more i love than knowing i'm needed. I guess i'm kinda wierd that way lol. And as far as job situations are going, it just seems that that burden has been taken away. everything is beginging to go right for a change! i'm kinda excited! Its so easy to forget the things you should be thankful for when you are sad and hating the world. i'm working on it! ^_^